Desire & Arousal Coaching

Desire and arousal are an integral part of the human existence and yet they are still a mystery. Due to the complexity of the human mind and emotions it is often difficult to know what influences are in the way of having the sexual experiences we are hoping for. There are a lot of things that magazines and experts recommend to “spice up your sex life” or “re-ignite the flame”, things that are supposed to elicit sexual arousal. Those means can be referred to as facilitators, like the gas pedal in a car they can add fuel to facilitate arousal. But like trying to light a fire with damp branches, if there are other things at work like anxiety, stress or unresolved relationship issues, then no matter how many facilitators you add to the equation it won’t change the equation in the long term. Underlying emotions or other issues that prevent us from wanting sex are called inhibitors, they are like brakes in a car, they will mute or stop a sexual response. And since both of those “pedals” operate somewhat independent of each other, both of them need to be addressed.
In our society there is a narrative present that makes us feel we should be ready for sex at any moment. This belief, that a sexual response should come automatically makes women feel broken. Research however shows, that desire can be spontaneous or a response to stimuli. In other words, our circumstances determine our desire and arousal. This means that if we don’t want to have sex there is a reason for that, it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. There is a difference between desire or libido and arousal. Desire is your level of interest in sex, arousal refers to your physiological response to sexual stimuli. They can be present together but sometimes there can be a disconnect between the two.
Working with Inka you will examine your personal facilitators and inhibitors and learn more about what motivates you to want sexual encounters and what are the circumstances that trigger a sexual response for you. Through mindfulness techniques you will learn how to identify and stay present to sexual stimuli. Our minds are so preoccupied with things we have to do, with self judgement or anxiety that our brain will often miss the sexual cues present. Mindfulness counters that preoccupation and creates a space for sexual responses to be registered by the brain and thus experienced in the body. You will also examine sexual beliefs and scripts that might no longer serve you and your pleasure.
Inka’s passion for working with desire and arousal grew out of her own experience with losing her libido for over a year due to trauma. She founded ForPlay Films out of her desire to help women (inclusive of cis, trans, genderqueer) with arousal by catering to their needs and their sexuality rather than the male perspective that is prevalent in erotic films. But her desire to bring sexual healing to women didn’t end with providing sensual films. She also channeled her experience with mindfulness and her counseling training into a new form of arousal coaching. And while women are her focus, she also works with men that experience challenges in the bedroom or that want to get more in touch with their sensuality.

Sessions

Individuals 150$ minimum 5 sessions With All Access Membership* 100$ per session
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Couples 200$ minimum 5 sessions With All Access Membership* 150$ per session
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Sessions are one hour and include homework you will also fill out an intake form

*o verify your All Access Membership please
send an email to forplayfilms@gmail.com with your membership username and sign up email

Inka’s Training and Credentials

  • 2020 – 2021 Clinical Skills Training, Client Supervision at SCCC
  • 2020 CRM training – Trauma Resource Training
  • 2019 Community Counseling Course at SCCC
  • 2018 Transactional Analysis Practitioner Certification
  • 2015 – present Advanced individual training in loving self-awareness and healing
  • 2005-2013 Studies of concepts on Human Psychology: Understanding childhood conditioning, attachment, trauma and methods of healing
  • 1997- present Meditation Retreats: Vipassana and active meditations, ongoing personal meditation practice
  • 1996-2004 Presence of the Heart: Acceptance and Mindfulness
  • 1996 Psychology of the Buddhas: Training in self-observation (recognizing and being present to the parts of your mind)
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